


Can't help yourself

by Waywardkitten



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Adam is a little shit, Angst, Bottom Castiel, College AU, D Brothers, Dean likes to be called sir, Destiel - Freeform, Dom/sub, Fluff, M/M, Pining, Slow Build, Smut, Top Dean, University AU, destiel college au, merc au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-12
Updated: 2017-07-19
Packaged: 2018-09-23 20:48:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,482
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9675923
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Waywardkitten/pseuds/Waywardkitten
Summary: Castiel is a student at the local university but when he meets a mysterious man at his local pub his whole life turns on his head.“I’m sorry, guys. But you know, between my studies and..” he trailed off. His eyes stopped at a dark corner near the stage. Black boots, worn jeans straining over muscular thighs, leather jacket and impossibly green eyes peering at him, crinkling above a crooked smile.“..Cas?” Gabe poked him lightly in his side. He jerked and started to cough.“Hmm? What?  What?”His siblings laughed at his disoriented expression.“You are way out of it, bro. “, Gabriel laughed. “Nothing a beer or two won’t fix though!”Castiel watched him stagger towards the bar shouting at the bartender, waving his wallet around. A fond exasperated sigh escaped his lips. He shook his head and returned his gaze to where he’d seen Mr. green eyes. But nothing. He was gone.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So this is my first Destiel fic ever and I am really nervous about posting it especially since English is my second language. Please leave kudos if you like it and feedback is very much appreciated.  
> P.S the whole fic is written so I have all the chapters done and I'll be posting them regularly. It's a 25k+ fic.  
> [My tumblr](https://waywardkitten.tumblr.com)

**‘Untrampeled footsteps  
** Borderline dreams  
Occasion for sinner  
alive if it seems  
given to wander  
alone at the shore  
wanton to whisper  
I am no more  
Am as my heart beats  
live as I can  
wanton to whisper  
faraway sands’ 

He squeezed his eyes shut and rubbed the bridge of his nose, putting the book back in the bookcase. The American Night by Jim Morrison was one of his favourite poetry books and it was beyond well-thumbed by now. A variety of post its and scribbled paper was strewn all around him; what was supposed to be the beginning of his essay on Morrison for his History class. He sighed and bent down to collect the pages and dumped them on the small table beside his soft second-hand leather chair. He hesitated before turning off the light in his small reading corner. But his eyes reminded him it was way past bedtime. He rubbed them as he shuffled off towards the bedroom. A vibrating sensation made him stop halfway there. He sighed and swiped the green blinking icon.  
“Yes, Gabriel?”  
“Cas! Castiel! My favourite baby bro!”, the other voice shouted happily, the static in his banged up phone only making his voice sound even more irritating.  
“Hello to you too, Gabriel”, Cas sighed as response. “It’s late, what do you want?”  
“Aaw, no time to be a grumpy gus! Come down to Galway’s! There’s a smaller crowd tonight and everybody’s asking for ya!  
Castiel started to curse himself for answering the call in the first place.  
“I can hardly see straight and I have an exam tomorrow, Gabe. Not tonight”  
.  
He had to give it to his older brother: nobody could match his persuasion skills.  
I can’t believe I let him talk me into this again, Cas thought to himself as he ten minutes later and slightly more annoyed marched down the stairs of his apartment building. He pulled his coat tight around him, shivering as the cold nightair hit him. Out on the street the city was in full nighttime bloom. The streetlights combined with the smells of the street corner hole-in-the-wall dives and a variety of sounds floating together to create something undefinable. He smiled to himself. It was chaos- but it was home.  
.  
The smell of stale beer, sweat and warmth embraced him as he entered the Irish pub he’d grown to love. It was only a couple of blocks from his home which meant crawling distance and it offered both food and drink as well as pool and the occasional band or troubadour. It also didn’t suck that it was almost exactly halfway between his apartment and the university. He slid in their normal booth and bumped his brother playfully in doing so- maybe a bit too hard, just to make a point.  
“Happy now?”  
Gabriel turned around and embraced his little brother in a drunken sloppy hug.  
“Hee-hey! Look who’s here!”  
He gestured to the others at their table  
“It isn’t everyday the entire Bradybunch has a get together, huh?!” ,he laughed “Well, except for mom and pops.”  
Cas turned a raised eyebrow to his other two siblings on the other side of the table. They both just shook their heads and laughed.  
“Anna, Balthazar.. long time no see.. how are you?”  
Anna gave him a small smile. Her cheeks were a bit flushed betraying her increasingly inebriated state.  
“I’m fine, Castiel. I’ve missed you though. We never hear from you these days”  
“Yeah!..” Balthazar took a swig of his beer “..what’s that about? Too busy for your own family, huh?” he joked and winked at his baby brother.  
Castiel shrugged and glanced away  
“I’m sorry, guys. But you know, between my studies and..” he trailed off. His eyes stopped at a dark corner near the stage. Black boots, worn jeans straining over muscular thighs, leather jacket and impossibly green eyes peering at him, crinkling above a crooked smile.  
“..Cas?” Gabe poked him lightly in his side. He jerked and started to cough.  
“Hmm? What? What?”  
His siblings laughed at his disoriented expression.  
“You are way out of it, bro. “, Gabriel laughed. “Nothing a beer or two won’t fix though!”  
Castiel watched him stagger towards the bar shouting at the bartender, waving his wallet around. A fond exasperated sigh escaped his lips. He shook his head and returned his gaze to where he’d seen Mr. green eyes. But nothing. He was gone. Disappointed he turned to Balthazar and Anna who were by now both in a wild argumentation about the rules of poker. Apparently Balthazar had cheated earlier, again.  
Eventually Gabriel came back, but not with one beer. He wobbily sat down a tray of both beer and shots in front of Castiel.  
He shot him a look.  
“Oh come one! If anyone needs to blow off some steam it’s you!”  
“Gabriel, I..”  
“You might as well..”, he nudged the tray closer to him “..they’re already paid for”, he added with an eyebrow wiggle.  
Castiel couldn’t keep a straight face any longer and laughed heartedly at his big brother.  
He grabbed a shot from the tray with an eyebrow raised at Gabriel, his expression basically saying ‘Are you happy now?’ and downed it in one go.  
He smacked his tongue and hummed.  
“Mmm, liquorice. You remembered”  
“Tss, of course I remember. You’re the only one I know weird enough to actually enjoy that stuff”  
.  
The night went on and Castiel felt himself grow more and more relaxed, drinking shot after shot and joking with his family. Gabriel was right, it had been too long since he’d seen them. The drunken smiles and laughs warmed his heart and he could feel the knot of stress that’d decided to permanently rent a spot in his stomach starting to loosen up.  
A middleaged woman with beautiful ebony skin was playing guitar up on stage, singing old irish folk songs with a deep whiskey voice. Castiel felt utterly captivated and before he knew it he’d left his company at the table to move closer to the stage. She was bathing in a strong red light and it made him feel like he’d floated into another level of existence, a completely different dimension. The alcohol was really getting to him.  
He tapped along to the beat on his thigh and occasionally swayed his hips when the music called for it. Before he knew it a couple of big hands searched their way around his waist and landed on his stomach. He tensed up immediately and a single thought was all his brain could muster:  
‘Green eyes’  
.  
He forced his body to move, to do something. He tentatively laid a hand on top of the other man’s, his heartbeat growing more and more erratic. He slowly turned around but his breath caught in his throat.  
“I’m sorry.. I thought you were someone else. I’ll just..” , he mumbled and started to try and pry himself away from the other man’s hold.  
“Oh, come now darling. I can be whoever you want me to be.” His voice was deep and sickly sweet. He wasn’t bad looking but something in those gravel coloured eyes just screamed evil.  
He felt the panic build in his chest. The pub was dark except for the stage lights and he had picked a spot right on the other side of the farthest off columns surrounding the stage. Nobody saw, not even his family; They were too far away.  
“No. Let me go..”, he tried, straining against the much bigger man. He could feel tears starting to well up in his eyes. He could fend for himself, he knew how to throw a punch. But he’d never been in this situation before and he felt too weak, too small to dare do something. It was like both his brain and body was betraying him.  
The other man easily grabbed a stronger hold of him and pushed him up against the column. Castiel could feel his hard erection pushing against his stomach.  
He was so close now. His breath smelled of bourbon and cigars. He leaned in to drag his nose against his neck, smelling him. He let out growling moan, a disgusting sound of approval.  
“I said don’t.. Please.” He cursed himself for how weak his voice came out.  
“You know when people say No, they’re usually not just trying to be cute.”  
Castiel’s ears perked up. The voice came behind the man pinning him. It was deep and rugged and Castiel knew it was a voice he’d remember it if he’d ever heard it before.  
.  
“Mind your own business. We’re just having a little fun.”, the other man cooed against Castiel’s neck making him swallow hard, turning his face as far away as he could.  
“No. You’re having fun. This guy here though seems he’d rather eat a pinecone drenched in gasoline than to be near you so.. Why don’t you just move it along, yeah?”  
Castiel held his breath. He couldn’t believe this was happening. This couldn’t be happening. Who was this guy?  
Finally the other man turned around and opened his mouth to say something when the owner of the deep voice clocked him square in the jaw. He let go of Cas as he fell to the ground with a loud thump. Cas sank down on the floor with his face in his hands trying to even out his breathing.  
He could hear the other man spitting on the floor and yelling something followed by a loud crack, and was that a tooth lying on the floor beside him? He looked up only to see someone grabbing the guy by his neck and hauling him out the entrance. Someone with an oddly familiar leather jacket.  
‘Green eyes’  
.  
He went behind the bar and exchanged some quick words with the owner Maurice before returning to Cas.  
He crouched down on the floor beside him with a hand on his shoulder.  
“You okay, kid?”  
Castiel hated himself for actually tearing up. He sniffled and dragged his nose against his coat sleeve, standing up.  
“Yeah, no. I’m fine”, he mumbled and looked away, the top of his ears burning red. He felt humiliated.  
“No, you’re not. D’you smoke? Come on, let’s get you out for some fresh air, yeah?” He grabbed at Castiel’s upper arm and hauled him up like he weighed no more than a bag of potatoes. And that should not turn him on as much as it did, especially during the circumstances.  
He thanked whatever deity that might be listening that he’d kept his trench coat on, hiding his growing erection as he followed the stranger, his head bowed down.  
He glanced over at his table and they were all turned his way giving him questioning looks. He just gestured at them dismissively and followed the man out into the cold night air.  
.  
Castiel sucked in a deep breath, making his lungs go back to a state of not half dead.  
“Aaah”, he sighed and leaned against the brick wall. Mr. Green eyes just stood at his side eyeing him suspiciously.  
“You sure you’re okay, man?” His voice wasn’t as low as Castiel’s own but it had a whole other level of depth to it and the sound of it made him shudder.  
“You cold?”  
Castiel finally looked up and his breath hitched. He finally saw the man in full light. The streetlights illuminating his strikingly handsome face. Freckles. Mr. Green eyes had freckles. He just stared at him for a minute before the other man started to get uneasy. He rubbed the back of his neck.  
“Hello? You in shock or something?”  
Cas finally broke out of his trance, blushing wildly.  
“Oh, I uhm.. Sorry. No, I’m fine. You didn’t have to do that”  
“Funny, because from where I was standing it seemed like I did”, he said with that crooked smile as he put a cigarette between his lips. He offered Cas one and, completely dazed and confused as he was, he took it. He lit his own before bringing the lit lighter to Cas, holding it under the tip. Castiel leaned forward, cautiously inhaling. He chanced a glance up at Green eyes face. His breath caught yet again earning him a cough attack. His face, lit up by the warm light from the lighter was the most beautiful thing Cas had ever seen. It might’ve been the alcohol talking but at that moment he couldn’t believe something as beautiful as this man was actually going around walking and talking and not in fact standing behind a glass wall in a museum.  
“Hey, woah! Is this your first or something? I thought you said you smoked?”, he laughed, slapping Castiel’s back as he coughed.  
“I never said that”, he smiled at him. He wiped his eyes and straightened his back.  
“I, uh.. Castiel”, he finally said and reached out a hand “..my friends call me Cas. “  
A low chuckle and a big warm hand gripping tightly.  
“Dean”  
.  
Cas was back at his booth. Someone had poked their head out from the pub telling Dean someone was asking for him. He’d stomped the cigarette, said bye, gave him a quick pat on the shoulder and gone inside. Cas had remained outside, willing his cigarette to last as long as possible, hoping his gorgeous saviour would come back out. But when the filter started to burn he admitted himself defeated and walked back inside.  
His siblings were relentless in their questions about ‘Mr. Tall, dark and mysterious’, as Balthazar had nicknamed him. Castiel refused to answer any questions. He just told them they went out for a smoke.  
“But you don’t smoke, Cassy!”, Gabriel exclaimed.  
“Apparently I do. And if you ever call me Cassy again I’ll call Mom and tell her the real story on how you injured your arm during that trip to Mexico.”, he grumbled in response, playing with the rim of his last shot.  
Balthazar and Anna cracked up laughing while Gabriel just looked at him in horror.  
“You wouldn’t!”  
“Oh, I would.” He gave his older brother a shiteating grin as he stretched his back and made his way out of the booth.  
“If I want to get some sleep at all I need to get home. Now.” Gabriel opened his mouth like he was about to protest.  
“I am going home to my bed now, Gabe. No buts.”  
He put his scarf on and waved at his siblings before taking the 100th glance around the dark pub. Nope, still no sight of him.  
Castiel sighed and made for the door.  
.  
The cold air bit him in his already alcohol rosy cheeks. He pulled his coat tighter around him and started to walk. A few yards in front of him he could make out the silhouette of another man walking the same way. There was something familiar about him but he just dismissed it as tired alcohol induced delusions. He started to walk faster, he just wanted to get home to his warm bed and maybe, if he was lucky, dream about the green eyed stranger. About Dean.  
He knew he should be more shaken up after the night’s events but something in the other man had calmed him, and also managed to turn him into a nervous blabbering mess but that was a whole other thing, he told himself.  
The dark figure before him grew bigger and bigger as Castiel got closer. Those boots did seem awful familiar. He stopped dead in his tracks. Oh.  
He started walking again, slower this time. What were the odds? Cas worried at his lip as he went on. Should he call out to him? What would he say? Should he pretend he doesn’t know it’s him? What if he looks back? What if he thinks Cas is stalking him?  
He felt completely flustered by the whole situation. What he really wanted to do was to run up to him, drag him with him up against the wall and stick his tongue down his throat.  
“I’ll table that as plan B”, he muttered to himself.  
Dean tensed and Cas stopped. He looked back with a quick glance before he started walking again, faster this time. Castiel groaned. What had he done? Had he heard him? He probably thought he was some freak with a hero fetisch.  
He couldn’t just stand there so he reluctantly turned the same corner Dean had only a minute ago and, yep, there he was. Would he ever just make a turn off of Cas’s home-route?  
It kept like that the entire way home: Dean tense and walking fast, Cas hunched up trying to walk as slow and soundless as possible.  
When Dean closed in on Castiel’s apartment building Cas let out a sigh of relief. He’d walk right past it and Cas could finally be in his bed and Dean would realise that he was just trying to get home. To Castiel’s big surprise Dean hauled out a keychain from his jacket and went inside.  
.  
“What the..”, he breathed.  
When he entered the building he heard the heavy booted footsteps on the stairs. He stood still, breathless. Counted.  
“Twenty two..”  
He heard the rattle of keys, a door being unlocked and then slammed shut. He waited a minute before silently sneaking up the same stairs. He counted as he went along.  
His heart was hammering in his chest.  
“..seven, eight, nine..”, he counted.  
Step number twenty two was on the second floor. Cas lived on the third. He swallowed thickly as the realisation hit.  
Dean lives here.  
.  
Castiel kicked off his shoes and hung up his trenchcoat. The buzz was beginning to wear off. He felt flustered and confused as he stood in the dimly lit hallway rubbing at his temples. What had happened exactly? How had it happened? Had he dreamt the whole thing? This kind of thing just didn’t happen to him for god’s sake. He sighed and made his way to the bedroom, forgetting his usually neat demeanor and shedding one article of clothing after another on the floor as he stumbled forward. The night's events had drained him and the alcohol was beginning to take it’s toll. He’d barely laid his head on the soft pillow before he was sound asleep.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Smut, O´hoy!  
> Also Adam is a little shit

_Swivels of colour. Soft taut skin covered in freckles. A small shudder._  
A stubbled jaw dragging against his neck and soft plump lips biting down on his earlobe. Soft whimpers and heavy breaths.  
A hand reaching down, another on his throat.  
Wanton moans caught in his throat. A deep voice growling in his ear.  
In a moment of lucidity he looked up. Piercing, deep, shadowed.  
A sigh. Green eyes.  
“Come. Now” 

Castiel woke up with a shout.

He felt absolutely perplexed where he sat, tangled in sweat soaked sheets trying to get his bearings. His breathing was rapid and heavy. When it all came back to him he groaned with a hand against his forehead and fell back on the mattress.  
What. The. Hell?  
He looked down at his stomach which was beyond sticky. He internally smacked himself. He hadn’t had a wet dream for years and he meets this gorgeous stranger, develops some sort of damsel in distress complex and all of a sudden he’s a teenager?  
Cas sighed and shook his head at himself, making his way out of bed and into the bathroom with the sheets to dump in the laundry basket.  
The cold water felt good against his overheated skin. The inevitable hangover was slowly making itself known. He hit his head on the slippery tile repeatedly. Stupid.

He had an exam today and hungover was not the best state to be in for that sort of thing.  
He got out of the shower and got dressed, forced himself to eat something to make his stomach to stop churning at every step.  
He was too stressed to even spare Dean one thought as he ran down the stairs to grab his bike. The cold air clawed at his lungs when he finally made his way down the streets leading to the University. 

Now that he knew he was finally on his way and would definitely make it on time his thoughts started to calm down. As they did so Castiel could feel the memories of last night start to grip at his heels. He tried to shake it off, ridding his mind of all thoughts of Dean but to no avail. The dream clung to the back of his mind no matter how hard he tried to think of schoolwork, math equations and that weird documentary about platypuses he watched the other night. Nothing worked. 

With the amount of excessive chewing he was doing to his pen it almost broke in half. He tried to focus on the test but every now and then his mind would drift, without his approval, into various daydreams starring a freckled man with a voice like a car engine.  
Five minutes left.  
His skin started to itch and he willed himself to the present and went through the pages as fast as humanly possible. He groaned as he walked out the classroom.  
“Castiel. A moment, please?”  
There was no mistaking that amused melted butter kind of voice. Cas sighed and turned on his heel.  
“Yes, Mr. Milligan?”  
“Call me Adam, ok?”, he answered with a crooked smile. Cas raised an eyebrow at him.  
“The whole Mister thing is an authority thing I’m not comfortable with. Don’t ask”, he told him dismissively.  
“And that’s not what I wanted to talk to you about. You seemed awfully distracted during the test. You usually seem like such a focused student, so I just had to ask if something’s wrong?”  
Cas could feel the tips of his ears burning red. He looked down at his shoes, glanced away and muttered a low ‘No..’  
“Ok, if you say so. I just hope you feel comfortable enough to tell me if so”, he told him with a large hand on Cas upper arm. He flinched before he could think and looked up at his teacher's chiseled face.  
“I, uhm..”  
Adam smiled at him and let go of his arm.  
“Off you go”  
.  
He turned the key in the lock on his bike and started rummaging through his coat pockets for the keys to the apartment building. The roar of a car engine made his ears perk up.  
He turned around just in time to see Dean get out of the most gorgeous car he’d ever seen. Pitch black, smooth lines and leather interior. Cas couldn’t help but stare.  
The rustle of Dean’s keys as he picked them out of his jeans pocket startled Cas enough to bring him out of his trance.  
“Hey! Wait!”, Cas called and sprinted towards the door. Dean looked up just as Cas made his way around him and through the door as Dean unlocked it. Dean showed an excellent pokerface as he glanced up at Cas. The only hint of recognition was in his eyes followed by a glint of surprise. Cas gave him a sort of apologizing smile before he made a beeline for the stairs. He was really tired of that damn elevator being out of order. 

His arm had brushed against Dean’s and the skin there was still tingling. He felt like a complete idiot. They met the other night, shouldn’t he had said hello or at least something? Cas was rushing up the stairs, unlike the steady heavy thump of a pair of boots slowly making it’s way up beneath him.  
Castiel slammed the door shut harder than he intended and slumped against it with his breath caught in his throat.  
He listened intently, willing his breathing to quiet down. He could still hear the heavy footsteps followed by a rustling of keys and a door being shut quietly.  
He let out a heavy breath and started walking towards the kitchen. As he opened a bottled beer with the opener neatly screwed on under his sink he muttered to himself  
“Been living here for months.. Never even seen the guy, all of a sudden he’s everywhere..”  
He leaned against the refrigerator with a sigh and took a long soothing gulp of his beer.  
He hadn’t removed his trench coat yet and something about the material against the refrigerator door felt weird. He looked down before backing away.  
“What the..”  
There was blood on the door. He checked the arm of his coat and yep, blood there too. He quickly checked himself but there were no wounds.  
This wasn’t his blood.  
He remembered his arm had brushed against Dean’s leather covered one. His pulse started to speed up. Who was this guy?  
Cas found himself sitting in the window of his bedroom, slowly sipping on his beer. He thought of Dean and what all this meant. Was he hurt? Had he hurt someone? If so- why?  
What scared him was that instead of wanting to never see the guy again he felt intrigued.  
He rested his head back against the wall and let the beer hang loose in his hand between his drawn up knees. He glanced downwards out the window eyeing the part of the building that made up the other part of the unusual L-shape.  
He let his eyes wander from the familiar structure of the lightly red tinted cement to the window on the first floor. If he remembered correctly that was the apartment where the landlady live. It was dirty and the old lace curtains were turning a light yellow from the excessive amount of cigarette smoke.  
A chill went up his spine but he couldn’t figure out what caused it. He glanced up toward the second window and was met by a pair of green eyes peering back at him. Dean was sitting just below his window fiddling with something in his hands. He smirked up at Cas who had momentarily frozen in his seat. Something in Dean’s hands glinted in the warm autumn sun and it caught Cas’ eyes.  
His heart jumped. Dean was sitting next to his window cleaning a gun.

Castiel’s eyes shot back up to Dean’s. His brain was completely and utterly fogged over. He couldn’t think. Dean raised an amused eyebrow at him and that brought Cas back out of his stupor. He blushed like an overripe tomato and shrugged awkwardly before he jumped down onto the floor and out of sight. He stood pressed behind the thick purple curtain of his bedroom for a few seconds. It all felt surreal. He pondered the different possibilities; was someone playing an elaborate prank on him? First thought: Gabriel.  
Was he on Candid camera or some other ridiculous TV-show? Was he in a coma and this was the best of a reality esque life his brain could muster?

He could still feel the burn of the other man’s stare on his skin. It made him feel exposed, naked. He could feel blood rushing through his body and became more and more flustered for every second that went by.  
He went over and sat down on the bed, rubbing his neck. Flashes of last night’s dream came over him and he let his hand wander down his chest. He still felt that itch you get when someone is watching you but he knew he was alone, no one could see him from the angle the bed was positioned.

He laid back on the soft mattress and tried to summon the most vivid picture of Dean he could. He felt ridiculous, he felt wrong but he couldn’t help it. The taboo of it all just spurred him on. He splayed a hand on his stomach, softly brushing and playing with the soft hairs there leading down. His hips bucked and he moaned softly. He tried to bring back the memory of Dean’s voice so close to his ear. Nails scraping over his hipbones making him shudder. He swiftly removed his pants and boxer briefs and kicked them down on to the floor. He was already semi hard by now.

He let the pads of his fingertips lightly crazy the underside of his cock where it rested against his stomach, imagining the simple touch was made by Dean. He was pulsing by now so he finally took a loose hold of his cock and stroked it in slow teasing drags. He sucked in his lower lip between his teeth and hissed.  
“Dean..”  
He felt a jolt shooting through him and he let out a breathy moan. This was going to be over embarrassingly quick. He took a firmer hold of himself and began to twist his wrist, curving his fingers so he was massaging the vein on the underside of his cock with his knuckles. He let out a low whimper and canted his hips up off the bed. It wasn’t enough, it wasn’t nearly enough. He wanted more, he needed more. He..  
The memory of Dean whispering in his ear came over him.  
‘Come. Now.”  
With Dean’s name on his lips Cas came with a startled groan all over his stomach and chest. His threw his head back, almost lifting his entire body off the bed. He tried to ride out the orgasm as long as he could and when he was completely spent he collapsed down on the bed with a content sigh. 

 

He woke up a couple of hours later all tangled up in the sheets once again. He glanced over at his clock radio: eight p.m.  
He rubbed the sleep from his eyes with a yawn and slowly got up to make his way to the kitchen. He pulled on a pair of old pajama bottoms and crossed the cold hardwood floor of his living room. He couldn’t stop thinking about Dean and it was becoming a real concern. He didn’t even know the man. He gulped down the whole glass of ice cold water he just poured himself and once again looked at the time.

He fidgeted a bit, leaning from one foot to the other. He sighed at himself, made a quick decision and pulled his phone from it’s charger.  
“Y’ello?”  
“Hey, Gabe?”  
“Cass-..I mean, Cas! How are ya? You sound like you just woke up from a coma. What’s up?”  
Cas snorted bitterly.  
“Yeah, something like that. How do you feel about Galway’s?“  
He was met by silence on the other end.  
“..since when do you call me to go out? I usually have to drag your ass down there. ‘Something up?”  
Cas sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose trying to come up with a legitimate sounding excuse. He could not, would not, tell his brother the real reason behind why he wanted to go to the pub.  
“I don’t have any school tomorrow and I just.. I don’t know, Gabe?! Does it matter?”  
Gabriel laughed and answered in an amused knowing voice  
“See ya in five”  
Click.

Castiel tried to not be embarrassed by how quickly he’d gotten to the pub. He rubbed his hands together as he slid in their booth, blowing hot breaths at them willing the limbs to warm up.  
He expectantly looked around the small crowd at the bar and felt his heart sink a bit when he realized there were no leather jackets nor shaggy dark blond hair as far as the eye could see.  
He grumbled a bit. Did he really think he’d be here? He felt ashamed for behaving like a crushing teenager. He’d only met him for the first time yesterday, it hadn’t even been 24 hours and it had already developed to a nearly full blown obsession.  
A voice behind the booth startled him  
“All alone?”

Castiel gave the owner of the voice a relieved smile.  
“Hi Mr. Milligan”  
Adam gave him a disapproving look.  
“..Adam”  
His eyes brightened at that and looked to the empty slot beside Castiel with a questioning look.  
“Mind if I..?”  
Cas gestured perplexed to the seat. The whole situation felt surreal, this was his teacher for christ sake.  
Adam slid in beside him and gestured to the waiter for two beers.  
“Uhm..isn't there some sort of school policy against fraternizing with students?”, he mumbled, a light rosy tint spreading on his cheeks.  
Adam gave out a low chuckle.  
“There might be”, he mused and scratched the blonde scruff on his jaw.  
“But it also depends on how you would define fraternizing”, he added with a wink before he took the two beers from the waiter and put one in front of Cas.  
He gave him a quick questioning look before shrugging and taking a sip- he was never one to turn down a free drink. But he still felt uneasy and unsure of what the hell Adam was doing here.  
Adam eyed him for a good long minute before laying his hand on top of Castiel's. His eyes shot up.  
“Am I making you uneasy?”  
Cas glanced away chewing his lip.  
“Don’t be. You’re old enough to drink and I’m the youngest teacher at the University. The only reason for us not to hang out is the minor fact that I am your teacher”  
“But why would you even want to?!”, Cas blurted before he had time to think.  
Adam gave him an raised eyebrow and took a long steady gulp of his own beer.  
He wiped his mouth on his sleeve and looked at the glass like he was considering it.  
“Why not?” He turned his face towards Cas, giving him a unyielding look.  
Cas felt a shudder going down his spine. Yep, he was definitely in a coma.

Castiel may not have been an attention seeker but when it was given to him freely, he thrived. The minutes passed on and he felt himself grow more and more relaxed in Adam’s company, he even made him laugh a couple of times. The blush on his cheeks never really left him but the alcohol slowly made him unable to care. A sudden vibration in his pocket caught his attention.

**[Sorry, bruh. Stuck in traffic. It might be a while, it’s really clogged up like a mother..]**

Cas pocketed his phone before he could read the rest.  
He knew he should be pissed or at least irritated about Gabriel being late again, but being in Adam’s company he really didn’t care.  
“So, you were telling me about your History project?”, Adam smiled.  
Before Cas could answer he felt the hairs in the back of his neck stand up like when you’re being watched. He could feel a pull in his neck with the urge to look around but he swallowed it down.  
He shrugged it off and turned his attention back to Adam.  
“Uh, uhm..what?”, he smiled sheepishly.  
The raised eyebrow was back and he looked pointedly to the several empty beer glasses in front of Cas.  
“History? Your project?”, he laughed giving him a fond look.  
Castiel’s ears were burning hot and he was getting really tired of his skin turning into hell flames every time some cute guy gave him the time of day.  
“Oh, yeah.. Well, it’s this-”  
“Well, hey there neighbour.”  
Castiel looked up to see a pair of very obviously intoxicated green eyes peering back at him with a mischievous glint.  
Cas swallowed hard.  
“H-hello Dean”  
Adam seemed very aware of the impact the stranger had on Castiel. He eyed him with a disapproving look.  
“You two know eachother I take it?”  
Dean startled looking over at Adam like he wasn’t aware there was someone else sitting in the booth. He glanced back to Cas with a smirk raising a questioning eyebrow.  
“Yeah.. He, uhm, he lives in my building”, Cas mumbled. He couldn’t look away.  
Adam shifted irritated in his seat.  
“Well, if you don’t mind.. We were in the middle of a conversation”  
“Nope, don’t mind at all actually. Scoot will ya?”, he slid in next to Adam so he was facing Castiel.  
80’s rock music was blasting from the speakers- the bartender got these whims once in awhile. The opening riff to Skid Row - Here I am came on.  
“So how’s my stalker?”, Dean asked casually and took a sip from his glass.  
“Wh-what? I’m not stalking you!”, Cas spluttered, going completely red.  
Adam eyed them both suspiciously, drumming annoyed with his fingerpads on the table.  
“Sure you’re not”, he answered with a wink.  
“I’m not!”  
“Is that why I keep seeing you everywhere?..”  
“Well, that’s not exactly my fault”  
“..and everytime, I catch you looking?”, he added with cheeky grin.  
Cas couldn’t find a suitable answer for that so he ducked his head after giving Adam a small apologizing smile.  
“Maybe I should go”, Adam finally grumbled, making to get out, nudging Castiel’s thigh to get him to make way.  
Cas got out quickly giving his teacher an awkward smile.  
“I’ll see you first thing Monday, okay?”, he told Cas, gave him a tight hug and shot Dean a look while doing so.  
Surprised, Cas just nodded and took a step back to get in his seat when Adam turned away and stalked out the pub.

Blushing, Cas turned his gaze on the other man who seemed immensely interested in his drink all of a sudden.  
Cas fidgeted in his seat a bit, clearing his throat.  
“Monday, huh?” Dean put down his glass and peered at him.  
“Uh, yeah. That was my teacher..”Dean gave him a questioning look.  
“.. at the University”  
“So you’re a schoolboy then?”, he asked with a shiteating grin.  
Cas looked down.  
“I guess you could say that, yeah”

What was wrong with him? Two different men and they both seemed to have the unusual talent of turning him into a fumbling babbling teenager.  
He scratched the back of his head, turning his gaze to the growing crowd. Where the hell was Gabe?  
“So do you make a habit of having men drooling over you or is it just when I’m around?”  
Cas looked up in surprise.  
“What? No! I don’t have men ‘drooling’ over me!”  
Dean snickered and leaned back in his seat spreading his legs.  
“You sure about that? That’s three guys in two nights” He took a swig of the beer Adam had left.  
Castiel looked completely dumbfounded. What?  
“There was that asshole yesterday, and uhm thank you for that by the way..”  
Dean gave him a crooked smile.  
“And Adam today but he wasn’t drooling.. It’s not like that, he’s my teacher.”  
“You can’t tell me you believe that, right? That dude was eyeing you up like a starved man looking at an All you can eat buffé”, Dean laughed and chugged the last of his drink.  
“That’s bullshit..”, Cas could feel the alcohol coming more into it’s right and affording him some liquid courage.  
“..and even if so, that’s only two. NOT three.”  
He looked Dean in the eyes defiantly. Dean looked up from his drink, locking eyes with him immediately, a suggestive smile on his lips.  
..Oh.

The brickwall behind the pub was cold against his back and the chilly autumn air caught in his lungs.  
Plump soft lips were sucking a bruise right behind his ear accompanied by grabbing hands hungrily roaming all over his body and he couldn’t help but let out a soft whimper. Dean pulled back with a growl. He breathed in with a hiss through clenched teeth.  
“Oh, make that sound again..”  
Cas fixated him with his eyes.  
“Make me”  
Dean groaned and delved back into his neck, nipping, biting and sucking everywhere he could get at only stopping to growl quietly, dragging his bottom lip against the nape of Cas neck or along his jawline. Cas felt completely undone. His knees were weak and his erection were throbbing in his jeans.  
“D-dean..”, he breathed, grabbing the man by his leather jacket pulling him in.  
Dean let a big warm hand wander up over Cas chest and softly close over his throat. He gently nipped at his earlobe before biting down almost hard enough to draw blood.  
Castiel moaned loudly and bucked his hips against the other man's thigh that were conveniently pressed between his own.  
He snaked his hand around Castiel’s throat and back up in his hair where he tugged lightly.  
“P-please..”  
He chuckled lowly against Cas neck, breathing him in.  
“Oh, I know what you need. Don’t worry.”, he whispered in his ear with a hoarse voice before gripping Cas hair to face him and clashing their lips together in a harsh kiss. 

Castiel didn’t even care anymore what kind of noises he let out and moaned greedily into the other man’s mouth. He sucked in Cas bottom lip between his teeth before letting it go with a loud pop.  
Castiel was already shamelessly rutting against Dean’s thigh just trying to get some much needed friction but Dean sucking on his lip just made his mind completely fog over. He arched against the wall when Dean made his way down his neck and clavicle, biting and kissing like he was spurred on by an insatiable hunger. As he went lower, gently unbuttoning Cas shirt to get access to the pale taut skin underneath, the louder Cas got.

“If you don’t want an audience I suggest you bite down on something, yeah?”, Dean mused with an amused dark chuckle.  
Cas bit down on his lower lip when he felt a hand cup him through his pants.  
Dean went down to his knees, fiddling with Cas belt buckle and zipper. He let his lips drag over the sensitive skin just above the hem of his jeans, moaning lowly.  
Deans obvious intoxication made his movements sloppy and lack a certain finesse that Castiel had expected. He didn’t care though, he was way too gone to care about anything other than Dean touching him.

The cold air brushed against his chest making his nipples impossibly hard and it felt utterly amazing against his overheated skin. He bucked his hips when Dean began to drag his jeans down, giving him easier access to do so.  
And then Dean stopped. Cas gave it a couple of breaths before he dared to look down.  
He was just staring at him, from his thighs to his dick and up over his chest before he finally met his eyes.  
“Jeesus fuck, Cas. Is there any part of you that’s not beautiful?”, he breathed.  
Cas felt his whole body flush bright red and he made to move away but before he had a chance Dean swallowed him down in one go making Cas shout. It was a miracle he could still stand the way he was shaking.

“Oh my god, Dean..I..”, he moaned threading his fingers in the other man’s shaggy hair gently scraping his nails over his scalp making him moan around him. The vibrations went straight to Castiel’s cock and up his spine. He hissed in a breath throwing his head back against the cool wall. Dean kept his maddening slow pace, just going all the way down and back up again with a tormenting pressure with his tongue on the underside of Castiel’s cock.  
A light tug on Dean’s head and he eagerly speed up alternating between sucking him down and swivelling his tongue over the sensitive head and slit.

Cas couldn’t help himself anymore. He jutted his hips, beginning to slowly fuck Dean’s mouth. The other man moaned loudly around him, grabbing both his thighs and kneading them with strong hands.  
His hands slowly went higher and higher until his thumbs reached the sensitive area just between his thighs and balls.  
Dean gave an extra hard suck and Cas came with a shout of his name. He convulsed against the bricks, holding Dean’s head in a tight grip as his hips bucked erratically.

Dean groaned and moaned and made every delicious noise Castiel never knew he’d always wanted to hear. He drank him up and swallowed every last drop before letting him go. He rested his forehead against Cas hipbone, languidly kissing him over the soft skin there. Castiel just stood, head against the wall, still with his hands on the other man’s head, breathing heavily.  
“Fuck..”, the man beneath him whispered completely breathless.  
“Wh-what?”  
Dean stood up with an unreadable expression on his face. He seemed stressed.  
“I’m sorry. I’ve gotta go. “ He scratched his head with an awkward smile glancing away.  
“Dean..wait, what?”  
“Just tell Maurice to put the drinks on my tab and.. Uhm, yeah”  
And before Cas could collect himself and ask him what the hell was going on Dean had already slipped back inside the pub.


	3. Chapter 3

When Cas once again was fully clothed he went inside to find Dean and ask him what the hell all that was about, but he was gone.

He sunk back in his booth, staring at his hands. What just happened? He tried to go through it again and again in his mind. Replaying every look, every word and every touch but it all felt like a blurr- like a dream he’d just woke up from. A million thoughts were going through his head. Why had Dean bolted all of a sudden? Had he done something wrong? Did he regret the whole thing? Why did he drag Cas out in the alley to begin with?   
Castiel sighed and rubbed at his neck when a cold hand gave him a light pat on the back.  
“Hey, little brother”, Gabriel grinned at him, removing his brightly coloured knitted scarf and taking his seat opposite Cas.  
He gave him a faint smile.  
“Hey, Gabe”  
“Oh lordy, what the hell happened to you? You look like someone just kicked your puppy.. If you’d had one”  
Castiel huffed and grimaced at him.  
“Nothing. I don’t want to talk about it and believe me, you do not want to hear about it”  
Gabriel stirred his drink giving him a concerned look.  
“This have something to do with tall dark and handsome, huh?”  
Cas slammed a hand on the table.  
“Damnit, Gabe! Get out of my head! I told you I didn’t wanna talk about it so just back off.”  
“Hey woah, fine.”  
Cas muttered something inaudible and took a long sip of the drink his brother had put in front of him.

Gabriel changed the topic to his newly started business. Apparently the Comic book store was a huge hit and Gabriel was completely giddy while telling him about the article on his shop that was going to be in the paper. Castiel smiled brightly at his older brother. Seeing him this happy really warmed his heart. It also helped his mind to momentarily drift away from any thoughts of Dean.   
The night went on and they both emptied glass after glass at an alarming rate until Maurice had to kindly cut them off.  
They waved drunkenly at the bartender before stepping out in the cold night air.  
“You-you ok then, baby bro?”, Gabriel slurred while fiddling with the buttons on his jacket.  
Cas grinned at him and yawned, stretching his back until he could hear it pop.  
“sch’yeah, I’m alright”, he slurred right back, giving his brother a at on his shoulder.  
“See ya, and don’t pick up any strange women on your way home. You know how that usually turns out!”, he teased and turned around to leave.  
“Oh, come on! Sc’that was one time!”, he whined with a hiccup before he added  
“See ya when I see ya” 

Castiel shivered in his thin trench coat- he really needed to buy a warm winter coat if he was going to survive the oncoming winter. The cold air bit his skin and helped him sober up a bit. The time with Gabriel had effectively helped him keep his mind off of Dean but now the thoughts were slowly creeping back.  
He reached down in his pocket fishing out a couple of earphones intent on drowning the thoughts out with some really loud music.  
Three songs later he rounded the corner to his building, fishing the keys up from his pocket.  
While he fiddled with the keychain trying to get the right key he noticed something in the corner of his eye. On the doorstep below the adjoining entrance was a big dark lump. Castiel brushed it off as one of the many homeless in the city but before he could go inside he stopped himself. Maybe he should at least offer the man or woman to come inside the hallway to get some warmth. The landlady would be furious but he wasn’t heartless and it was a unusually cold night.  
“Hey, you awake?”, he poked the figure softly.  
“You can come in my building to get some warmth if you’d li-” he stopped himself as the figure slowly turned it’s head and very politely told him to blow it out his ass.  
“Dean?!”

He was completely incoherent as Cas shook him. He seemed to try and swat at him but only managed to look like he requested a drunken high five. Cas let him go, standing up and rubbing at his forehead. What the hell was he supposed to do with all of this? He sighed and went back to the entrance of his own building and opened the door and shoved one of his gloves under it to keep it open. He want back to Dean and took one of his large arms and swung it around his neck. He swayed a bit- he was really way to drunk for this bullshit and he was still kind of angry at the man for taking off earlier.   
“Come on, damnit. You could at least help a little..”, he grumbled while he tried to heave Dean up on his feet. He just muttered something unintelligible in response and stumbled on his own feet. After a few moments of wobbling back and forth he seemed to understand the concept of gravity again and finally stood on his feet. Cas didn’t dare letting go though for the fear of him crashing down on the pavement again.  
“Can you move?”, he asked the nearly unconscious mess hanging on his shoulder.  
“Hngffrh”  
“Yeah okay, just put one foot in front of the other. That’s the least you can do or we’re gonna have a real problem getting you inside”  
It took some convincing and Cas nudging at Dean’s feet but he seemed to get the idea and started moving in the kind of military automatic movements every drunk has mastered at one time or the other. He helped him up the doorstep and through the door. He got Dean leaning on the wall for a second while he went to retrieve his glove from under the door.  
When they were finally in front of the elevator Castiel felt his heart sink to his stomach.  
‘Out of order’  
He’d totally forgot. Damnit.

He cursed under his breath as he eyed the stairs. He took a firm grip on Dean’s waist under his leather jacket to get a better hold on him and tried not to think about the firm muscles he felt under the cold flannel shirt. Dean was shivering by now. Cas really needed to get him out of those cold damp clothes and under some warm covers. And no, he refused to let his mind go there.  
10 minutes later a very sweaty and out of breath Castiel finally dragged Dean up the last step to his floor.  
“Dean, I need you to find your keys”, he told him trying to get him to straighten up. He just got a incoherent mumble in return.  
“Dean, please help me out here”, he groaned. Nothing in response. He sighed and leaned Dean up against the wall and began rummaging through his pockets. Phone, wallet, a small notepad and a pen, tissues and some odd metallic figurine but no keys.  
Castiel began to panic. What the hell was he supposed to do now?  
He tried to think but the alcohol was blocking every intelligent braincell he had and the other ones seem to have a whole other agenda than to help him.  
Dean let out a slow whine through clattering teeth. That was it for Cas.  
“This is a bad bad idea”, he muttered to himself before he took a hold of Dean and made their way to the stairs again. 

His knees almost gave out underneath him- Dean wasn’t exactly what you’d call a light weight. But they finally made it to the third floor. Cas unlocked the door while balancing the drunken lump of a man hanging on him.  
He almost tripped on the hallway carpet but managed to steady them both. He closed and locked the door and started to try and guide Dean towards the couch in the livingroom.  
He got him to sit down and he immediately slumped back, his chin resting on his chest.  
Cas just stood there for a moment unsure of what to do. The entire situation was making his throat close up.  
“Fuck, fuck, fuck..”, he whispered, anxiously scratching at his head. Dean’s teeth began to clatter again. He couldn’t just leave him on the couch like this but he didn’t feel comfortable undressing a basically unconscious man he really didn’t know. He took a deep breath, steadying himself.  
“Dean?! Dean, look at me”, he spoke with a raised voice, gripping the other man by his chin trying to force him to face him. He fought to open his eyes but only managed to get them to briefly flutter.   
“I am going to get you out of those clothes and into some dry ones, okay?”  
No answer. Castiel shook his head. He couldn’t believe the weird turn his life had taken the last 24 hours. 

He turned around and walked into his bedroom to grab a pair of his warmest pyjama bottoms and a his biggest sweatshirt hoping it wouldn’t be too tight on the much bigger man.  
To castiel’s relief Dean hardly made any fuss when he pried the leather jacket and flannel shirt off of him in one go. Castiel gulped and swallowed hard.  
“O-okay, good. T-shirt next..” he knew it was wrong given the state the other man was in but he couldn’t help but stare at lean gorgeously muscled arms. He took a steadying breath before he made Dean to raise his arms above his head and pulled his T-shirt off.   
Castiel’s eyes shot over the taut skin like darts. He started to have trouble breathing. The gorgeous freckles on his cheeks also painted his shoulder and most of his chest. He was beautiful.  
Cas cleared his throat, remembering himself.  
“Uh, here..”, he helped Dean get the sweatshirt on and mentally patted himself on the back when he saw it was a good fit. It was his go to sweater when he just puttered around his home since it was at least two sizes too big and therefor the coziest item of clothing he owned.   
He gently pushed Dean down so he lied sprawled over the bright purple couch and made to remove his boots. He brushed against the man’s feet when he removed them. They were cold as ice. He made a mental note to go find some warm socks for him when he was done. 

He felt completely flustered and awkward when he looked up at the shining belt buckle on Dean’s black jeans. If this wasn’t the epitome of inappropriate he didn’t know what.  
‘I will not look, I will not look”, he thought to himself as he clumsily undid the belt and started to drag his jeans down and off. He actually managed to keep his gaze away from the part of Dean that picked at his attention the most, and he felt a sort of absurd sense of pride.  
He dragged the pajama bottoms on him, which was no small feat since he refused to help lifting his hips. When he finally had found and put on a pair of socks on him Dean was fast asleep, softly snoring into one of the couch pillows. Castiel smiled disbelievingly at the sight and took his favourite blanket from his reading chair and gently folded it out over the sleeping form.  
He flicked the light switch and took one last long look at the man on his couch, admiring how the soft moonlight highlighted his features and caressed his pale skin. It was the most beautiful and serene thing Cas had ever seen.  
He felt a light tug at his heart but shook it off and went to bed, soundlessly closing his bedroom door. He was thankful for the amount of alcohol Gabriel had poured down his gullet during the night, because if he’d been even the slightest bit more sober there was no way he was going to be able to sleep.


End file.
